How to Survive a Situationship

I met you after a two year dating hiatus when I went out with my friend to this cozy bar in that short amount of time between Christmas and New Years Eve. I was excited to be out of the house and meeting new people that were in my girlfriend’s small circle of friends from her nursing program. All of you were super warm and inviting and my friend wanted to set me up with someone else in the group, but you stuck out the most to me. It wasn’t even that I was physically attracted to you at first, but your personality sold me. You made me laugh until my stomach hurt and you told me about your love for travel and how excited you were for you upcoming solo trip to Thailand. I gave you my number told you to text me when you got back and by the end of January you asked me out to dinner. I remember being so nervous for that date I couldn’t eat the entire day and I got ready at my client’s house towards the end of my shift as a companion care aide. I gave myself a pep talk before walking into the restaurant to meet you and that date was my first date where a guy bought me dinner. I felt so grown up ordering wine with my meal and you made me ugly laugh with your stories from your trip, ugly laughing to the point were people were staring to see what was so funny. We didn’t kiss at the end of the night and I called my girlfriend to tell her all about it on my drive home. For our second date we met my girlfriend and her boyfriend for happy hour and at the end of that we went for a long drive and just talked. By the time we finally stopped and we were next to your car I asked what you wanted to do next and you replied “I really want to kiss you” and I let it happen. The kiss wasn’t terrible, but nothing spectacular, just a kiss. Over the next two months we hung out on and off between my work and class schedule and your nursing school clinical rotations. Yeah we hooked up a couple of times, I stayed over at your place a on the nights I stayed late, and we even met each other’s parents. Then you got “the flu” which left you with a lingering cough that nobody seemed to diagnose and you seemed to be sick for so long… And then I started feeling sick. I thought it was funny how when I told you I had a fever and felt like garbage thats when you decided that was the appropriate time to call me and say you no longer wanted to see me… The morning after that I found out I had mono. I was never the type of person to kiss random people, share drinks, or eating utensils so you could be the only person I could see giving me mono. I did the right thing and told you and asked you to get tested for it for me and my own knowledge, but you never did. I suffered for two weeks sleeping up to 18 hours a day, still going to class barely able to keep my eyes open (my mother had to drive me to my classes because I couldn’t drive a car due to the fatigue and fever), I had a fever for two weeks straight with it spiking at 104 where I felt like my brain was melting and I became delirious. My throat was so raw it felt like swallowing shards of glass just to take a sip of water, My parents almost took me to the hospital for dehydration. I survived off of blended coffee beverages and popsicles. When I felt like the worst of the mono was starting to end I got sick again, this time pneumonia. I still had a fever that wouldn’t break and tried two different antibiotics that wouldn’t help. My lungs were filled up with so much fluid I was choking on it to the point where I threw up everything I tried to eat, lost 20lbs in a month, and couldn’t sleep because I was coughing so much. My entire body hurt and I had no energy to do simple things like walk upstairs to my bedroom. I drove myself to an infectious disease specialist when the second antibiotic didn’t work and the doctor made me go to the hospital because she feared I could have contracted Tuberculosis from you after you had come home from Thailand. I was terrified of the unknown, but too sick to do anything about it. I spent three days in the hospital getting three different antibiotics when I was told I had an antibiotic resistant bacterial pneumonia. Doctor’s said if I didn’t go to the hospital when I did I could have ended up with a chest tube to drain the abscess found in the right upper quadrant of my lung. I still have scarring on my lungs from the pneumonia and my blood oxygen levels won’t go above 95% when it used to be 100%. When I was in the hospital I decided to update you on what was going on in case you wanted to get checked out yourself and you still never did anything about it. So with all that being said… I don’t feel bad that I ordered the surf and turf on our first date (my grandmother made a better filet mignon anyway), I know you apologized for me getting sick but for you to say you couldn’t have played aa small role in it is just baffling to me, after you I was terrified to even touch a boy for years after you. F**k you, bitch 🙂